The surprises and predictions from Herbert’s last State of the State

Pignanelli & Webb

Gov. Gary Herbert delivered his 11th — and final — State of the State address last week. Because he is not seeking reelection, is Utah’s chief executive a “lame duck” or will he continue strong leadership and have a successful legislative session? We ruminate. Were there any hits, misses or surprises in the governor’s address? What role can he play in the next year? Pignanelli: “I hope to spend the remainder of my days in peaceful retirement, making political pursuits yield to the more rational amusement of cultivating the earth.” — George Washington The 1941 movie ”Citizen Kane” is heralded a classic, especially for infusing into the American lexicon the classic phrase ”He knows where the bodies are buried.” Herbert’s deep experience in local and state government provides him clear insight on details of issues that will be smoldering into this decade (aka buried bodies). Also, Herbert will enjoy hefty political capital and strong approval ratings until his successor is sworn in in 2021. Herbert’s final State of the State: Prepare Utah for those to follow With these assets, Herbert can be invaluable distributing guide maps to the graves of festering problems such as overdue reforms in the higher education system, water infrastructure requirements, creative responses to growth demands, etc. Through various means including strong public statements and short-term priorities for his agencies, Herbert can set the agenda for next year. In his speech Wednesday night, Herbert artfully thanked Utahns for their incredible commitment to a healthy and productive lifestyle. He appropriately listed accomplishments achieved by his administration, but also referred to the well-known ongoing concerns. Now unshackled by normal political pressures, Herbert can enhance his legacy with the exhuming process. Webb: It was a good, solid speech, reflective of Herbert’s time as governor. By the way, Herbert will be Utah’s second-longest serving governor, a tenure about a year less than Gov. Calvin Rampton’s 12 years from 1965 to 1977. While there weren’t any real “moonshot” proposals in Herbert’s speech, it was still visionary and forward-looking. Herbert’s focus on clean air — and putting $100 million behind it — demonstrates real commitment. His proposal to put $34 million of state money into public transit, particularly into the at-capacity FrontRunner system is, I believe, the first time a governor has proposed spending significant state dollars on transit. His assertion that it ought to be as easy to use mass transit as it is to drive a car is a breakthrough in Utah gubernatorial priorities. Herbert’s embrace of quality growth principles and the need to reconsider land use and zoning regulations, in addition to “reimagining” what housing will look like in the future, is progressive and farsighted. His appeal to make Utah’s education system the best in the country is a clarion call, but it wasn’t backed up with sufficient funding. These themes will need to be carried forward by Utah’s next governor to cope with rapid population growth and continued urbanization. Oodles (a scientific term) of candidates want to replace Herbert. How will they embrace or distance themselves from his administration? Pignanelli: Gubernatorial contenders face a difficult challenge of political dexterity. Prior elections convincingly demonstrated the tactic of disparaging of Herbert always fails and just antagonizes voters. But Utahns are not expecting a carbon copy either. A safe target is the now repealed tax reform bill and resulting referendum, so expect this as a tool of differentiation. Also expect multiple empty euphemisms such as “deep dive,” “trim the fat,” “streamlining” to be bloodied in their overuse. So a successful candidate will highlight personal skills and attributes that subtly comfort voters a continuation of proven economic objectives. However, this will be contrasted with identification of selective problems that are best resolved through that individual’s abilities. General commitments to education and efficient government will not be enough — some specifics will be demanded. Webb: Some of the governor’s would-be successors whisper that he has been a good manager, but not a visionary leader who took the state to new heights. That understates Hebert’s tenure. Utah’s remarkable success hasn’t occurred by luck or destiny. Utah’s good ride is the result of excellent leadership and hard work now and over many years, even preceding Herbert. If you coast for a minute, you lose. Competition out there is tough. Herbert’s low-key leadership style is not given to flamboyance or self-aggrandizement, but has been very effective. Certainly, the next governor must outline how he or she will achieve higher summits in a new economy amid rapid growth. But it makes no sense for candidates to downplay Herbert’s successes. Especially because most of them haven’t yet walked the walk. Talk is easy. How will Herbert’s impending retirement impact the relationship between lawmakers and the governor this session and for the remainder of his term? Pignanelli: Most Utahns concur our state is on an incredible trajectory, with Herbert as the acknowledged pilot. Although a “lame duck,” lawmakers understand Herbert’s political capital can still be leveraged for immediate projects and endeavors. Webb: Legislators need Herbert’s signature unless they can muster a veto override, which is exceedingly rare. He wields a big stick.

The 2020 legislative session is gearing up to be a busy one. Here’s what’s in store

The 2020 general session of the Utah Legislature convenes Monday morning. We make this announcement because it feels like they never stopped meeting all of last year. Usually, internal dynamics of the institution drive deliberations. But this year is very different. We explain why.

What are the external or unusual dynamics that will impact the Legislature in the next 45 days?

Pignanelli: “It is a rare piece of legislation indeed where there is much agreement about the goals.” — Mike Pence.

“The elephant in the room.” “The 800-pound gorilla.” ”The Big Enchilada.” These are just a few of the many metaphors and expressions to describe how the signature gathering results by the referendum supporters to repeal tax reform legislation will impact the legislative session.

Gov. Gary Herbert and legislative leadership are indicating a repeal early in the session. But this will not resolve the lawmakers’ anxiety as to political fallout they may endure in town meetings, precinct caucuses, conventions, etc. Further, budget deliberations will be extremely difficult as the demand for increased services remains (ironically, to benefit many referendum supporters) while expanded resources in the general fund are no longer available.

The impeachment hearings will overlap early weeks of the legislative session. Public perceptions of the results will be a major consideration as it will impact elections. Lawmakers will also follow the Super Tuesday presidential primary on March 3 — which includes Utah — as the potential Democrat nominee could be determined. This could be a source of joy or angst for candidates in swing districts. The very active gubernatorial candidates will be consistently commenting on legislative initiatives in public and social media arenas — much to lawmakers’ dismay.

To paraphrase another worthy idiom: “It is enough to make a legislator drink.” I’m happy to provide lessons to the uninitiated in such a soothing endeavor.

Webb: By repealing the tax reform law early in the session, lawmakers will greatly simplify the session’s work. But the problems of a dysfunctional tax system will not go away, and the problem will be dropped directly into the lap of Utah’s next governor. That’s where it belongs, because most of the GOP gubernatorial candidates naively and cynically supported the repeal referendum.

As I’ve written previously, I believe the referendum was an enormous mistake. It will raise taxes on low-income and middle-class Utahns and take the state back to an outdated tax system.

However, I congratulate the referendum organizers for proving me dead wrong about getting it on the ballot. I didn’t think they could gather so many signatures so rapidly. It is an impressive political achievement — however misguided.

So now tax reform is gone for the time being. I still appreciate the efforts and courage of Gov. Herbert and legislative leaders for taking on this issue and passing legislation that would have served the state and its people very well. This is a step backward, and I especially don’t like the big tax increase caused by the referendum supporters, but Utah is a resilient state and we’ll do just fine.

What are possible “sleeper” issues that could erupt and capture attention?

Pignanelli: Clean air issues have evolved into a major bipartisan concern, as Gov. Herbert and Republican lawmakers commendably grapple with solutions. If a terrible inversion hits during the session, Capitol rallies abound and legislation results. The tax reform controversy may affect whether legislators pursue much needed changes to the reapportionment boundary commission established through a 2018 initiative. Several states recently adopted the 1972 Equal Rights Amendment provision to the U.S. Constitution. A similar proposal is before Utah legislators. Hotly contested 40 years ago, polls indicate most Utahns support the measure. The debate will capture national attention.

Webb: All the state’s big issues bubble up to the Legislature. Proposed laws dealing with mental health, addiction, rural economic development, infrastructure and highway bonding, affordable housing, Equal Rights Amendment, redistricting, education governance and others will gain a lot of attention.

Not since 1992 has the Legislature conducted a session with a retiring governor. How does this impact the sometimes cordial and other times strained relationship between the two branches of government?

Pignanelli: Obviously legislators and the governor will be conferencing on tax reform brouhaha. But because of all the external forces, the relationship between the branches is a minor tune this session.

Webb: To his credit, Herbert is not coasting to the finish. He has put forth some bold and far-reaching proposals for his last legislative session, including changing Utah’s public education governance structure by putting the next governor squarely in charge. He also has broken new ground by proposing to use a healthy amount of state money to substantially bolster public transit.

Herbert will be a factor, especially if he chooses to carefully and wisely swing his big hammer — his veto authority. He has nothing to lose, so why not go big?

What will the ramifications of Utah’s tax reform be?

By Frank Pignanelli & LaVarr Webb

Utah politics is much like the recent weather — hard to predict and often erratic. Local meteorologists blame anything chaotic on the “lake affect.” We blame anything weird in Utah politics on “Sen. Todd Weiler’s incessant tweets” — they’re clever and cryptic enough to ascribe any meaning to them. But even the Weiler tweets can’t explain the referendum to repeal the tax reform passed in December. For those insights you must read the following forecast on this political storm front.Most political observers dismissed the volunteer-staffed referendum requiring at least 130,000 signatures (accounting for disqualifications) as certain to fail. Then last week some large grocery chains announced their backing of the effort, allowing signature-gathering on their premises. Then the state PTA encouraged its thousands of members to gather signatures. Could what was once a fantasy become a reality this coming week? Will the effort impact the legislative session?

Pignanelli: “If you’re explaining, you’re losing.” — Ronald Reagan

An often used comic routine is two speakers using different languages humorously trying to communicate with increasing elevation of their voices and total miscomprehension as the result. Similar emotions and intensity describe the misunderstanding between state officials and referendum supporters regarding tax reform legislation. The resulting passion and frustration is fueling the massive volunteer effort to gather signatures. Many direct democracy experts doubt the success of the referendum effort. But others believe recent institutional support could carry them across the finish line. Either way — it will be close.Sponsors and signatories of the referendum will maintain feelings long after the deadline, to be expressed during the legislative session. Further tax reform deliberations are chilled for a year, if not longer.Should the referendum be certified, lawmakers must dramatically revise budget allocations, with deep cuts in programs funded by sales tax revenue.Either way, shouting in different languages does not end for some time.

Webb: I still think the referendum storm front will dwindle and die — and that will be good for the state, good for taxpayers, and especially good for low-income people. Don’t kid yourself. If you sign a repeal petition you’re voting to raise your taxes — by a whopping $160 million. You’re voting to hurt low-income people. You’re voting to retain a dysfunctional tax system. You’re voting for long-term challenges to fund critical state services like Medicaid, law enforcement, prisons and social services.

I am hopeful the referendum will not stampede legislators into retreating on tax reform. The hard part is done. Voters will benefit. Give it some time to work.Many lawmakers and their staff spent hundreds of hours during the summer and fall wrestling with tax reform, including over 60 hours of public hearings and discussions. Why is their message not resonating with many Utahns?

Pignanelli: Referendum supporters have the easy message — “no new taxes on gasoline and food!” Defenders of tax reform use words like “structural budget readjustments,” “revenue silos” and “changing economic patterns,” to explain their position. These unappealing descriptions are a monstrous burden for even the most articulate.Legislators endured a grueling process to promote public participation in tax reform, eventually garnering support of businesses and community organizations. But without a crisis, many Utahns do not understand an additional burden at the grocery checkout or gas pump despite an income tax reduction. Although Utah is a well-managed state, a distrust of authority remains.

Webb: Tax reform is complicated. Some taxes go up, some go down. Opponents can focus exclusively on the taxes going up, especially the food tax and fuel tax, and generate lots of angst. Without a million-dollar advertising budget, it’s difficult to win the messaging game on tax reform, even though the result is a net positive for citizens. Personally, I like the tax reform package because I prefer a tax cut to a tax increase. Especially when, along with a hefty tax cut, we get a modern, better-balanced tax system suited to our high-tech, services economy.The grassroots momentum behind the referendum cannot be ignored. How will this play out in the upcoming elections?

Pignanelli: Many of the referendum activists will attend precinct caucuses in March, creating angst for incumbents with interparty challenges. While campaigning, candidates will encounter questions on tax reform, altering the flavor of conventions and primaries.

Webb: Clearly, many candidates, including some naïve gubernatorial candidates, will campaign against tax reform. I hope voters will recognize what they’re really saying: “Vote for me because I promise to raise your taxes. I promise to reduce benefits for low-income people. I promise to reinstate a dysfunctional tax system. Vote for me because I’m cynically grandstanding even though I know it’s not good for the state.”Candidates are supposed to be campaigning on how they will courageously take Utah to the next level. Instead they’re promising to reverse progress and take Utah back to a bad tax system.

The Utah gubernatorial race is heating up. Here’s where things stand

Pignanelli and Webb: “Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business.” — Winston Churchill

The Utah real estate market is hot, but no location is hotter than the governor’s mansion on South Temple. A number of Utahns are willing to devote a year of their life to raise money, travel the state, give speeches and endure criticism just for the opportunity to move into the historic residence. We look at the strengths and weaknesses of the current slate of candidates as they each seek to “take Utah to the next level.”

Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox: The undisputed leader in the polls has organized an impressive signature-gathering campaign using volunteers, demonstrating an ability to use his many social media followers. A question dogging him is whether he can financially compete with wealthy opponents. Another is that although he’s a nice guy and everyone likes him, is he “tough enough” to govern? A third is whether a win for him will simply be another term for Gary Herbert.

Former Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.: On paper, this scion of a beloved family should be the frontrunner. But some Utahns seem to resent him leaving early in his second term to serve as an ambassador in the Obama administration. Conservatives also worry that he’s too moderate. But, Huntsman is immensely smart and charismatic, is a great speaker, in person and through video, and he should be able to use his extensive national and international relationships to his advantage.

Former Speaker Greg Hughes: He left the Legislature on a high note with a strong perception among insiders and some in the media as a bold and effective leader who could cross partisan divides to take on tough issues and find solutions to problems. But Hughes, loved by Trump supporters for his conservatism and early support of the president, has been quiet for a long time and has serious catch-up to do for voters to get to know him.

Businessman Jeff Burningham: The persona of a successful business leader outside of politics who will apply business principles to state government has been a successful recipe for many gubernatorial candidates. Burningham has run ads and has plenty of money to be a factor. But, so far, he has not gained much traction in the polls.

Salt Lake County Council Member Aimee Winder Newton: Her gender, energy and stated conservative positions in county deliberations could make Newton a real contender. But she faces challenges of not being well known outside the county, lack of fundraising clout and persistent rumors that her real target is lieutenant governor.

Former GOP chair Thomas Wright: Universally acclaimed as a tremendous leader of the Utah Republican Party, Wright enjoys valuable affection of veteran delegates and can unite conservative and moderate factions. He built a very successful real estate business and will have ample resources. He has a bold vision for the state. But he is almost unknown outside of political circles, and he got into the race late.Former Utah GOP Chairman Thomas Wright announces run for governor

Congressman Rob Bishop: Well, he has until March to decide.

What is the strategy for going through the caucus/convention system and/or gathering signatures to get on the primary ballot?

Pignanelli: History documents that a victory at convention does not guarantee primary win. Delegates, the heart of a party, get really grumpy if ignored. Plus, a poor showing creates momentum problems that are overcome only with expending more resources. So, spoiling 4,000 activists with extraordinary attention is still a requirement in Utah electioneering.

Webb: Most candidates will do both, which likely ensures they will get on the ballot. Hughes is putting all of his faith on delegates in the convention, and won’t gather signatures, obviously seeking to show conservatives he’s their guy. But Wright, Cox and Bishop will also have convention strength, so it’s a risky move. A perception could also exist that a convention-only candidate cares more about delegates than general GOP voters.

Are there various “lanes” or specific categories of voters these candidates will try to woo in a traditionally low-turnout closed June Republican primary?

Pignanelli: Utahns will hear much this election about so-called lanes for ultraconservatives, Trumpistas, millennials, moderates, etc. But with the potential of seven primary contenders, these avenues will have more than one participant. So, winning will require attracting and building a broad coalition beyond habitual GOP voters. This may include younger Republicans, nontraditional conservatives and independents willing to register. Such a combination will be drawn by the candidate promoting an unusual compelling message through an innovative campaign that defies conventional routines.

Webb: The fun of this campaign will be the intrigue and strategy deployed to win sufficient votes in a multi-candidate, low-turnout primary. The winner could emerge with only 30% of the vote, or even less. Turnout will be key. Getting one’s voters to the polls at vacation time will be paramount. How will the factions line up? Who will really vote?

A traditional campaign won’t work. And Utah definitely needs a runoff system.

2020 is full of big political events. Here are the ones to watch

Pignanelli and Webb

Pignanelli and Webb: On the national level, impeachment and the 2020 presidential election will soak up major attention. But the new year will also feature plenty of political intrigue and important events for Utah politicians. So here’s a briefing on significant political issues and occurrences to follow in the next 12 months.

Tax reform fallout

On Jan. 21, sponsors of the referendum to repeal the tax reform package passed in the December special legislative session must submit their signatures. If they succeed, or even come close, to gathering enough signatures to place the repeal proposal on the 2020 ballot, the ramifications will be huge. Tax reform will become an even bigger issue in the 2020 gubernatorial and legislative elections.

And because tax reform was supported by establishment community and business leaders, while opposed by a majority of voters, it could suggest a shift in the state’s power structure. This could be reflected in the precinct caucuses, party conventions and the June primaries. It would also be much harder to pass meaningful tax reform in the future.

Spoiler alert: We doubt sufficient signatures will be gathered to get on the ballot.

Utah senators and impeachment

National publications are already noting the key roles that Utah senators may play. Sen. Mike Lee is busy working with Senate leadership and the White House developing strategy to acquit the president. The results could be a net benefit to his career in the Senate or other positions (like a U.S. Supreme Court appointment). The media will closely scrutinize statements and questions by Sen. Mitt Romney to see if he becomes a wild card in the impeachment trial and leads an alternative center of Republican thought.

The trial and how it proceeds will directly influence Rep. Ben McAdams’ reelection in the 4th District. If Senate Republicans are able to portray impeachment as an unfair witch hunt it will be a problem for McAdams, who voted for impeachment in the House. Conversely, if independents and moderate Republicans believe the president is guilty, impeachment becomes a nonissue (allowing other issues and the strength of the campaigns to determine the outcome).

The race for governor

Soon we’ll know if former Speaker Greg Hughes, Congressman Rob Bishop, and former GOP State Chair Thomas Wright enter the Republican nomination free-for-all. Any or all will affect strategy and the eventual outcome. Bishop enjoys a solid base in northern Utah and Hughes is beloved as an early supporter of Trump. Wright appeals to both conservatives and moderates. Thus, the current tug-of-war between Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox and former Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr., could expand into a larger wrestling match, providing opportunities for Jeff Burningham and Aimee Winder Newton as everyone seeks a “lane” to the nomination.

Also worth watching will be the effort to repeal SB54, led mainly by Sen. Mike Lee. Repealing SB54 would toss the gubernatorial race to delegates at the state GOP convention, pushing aside general GOP voters.

The 2020 Legislature

Utah sessions start slowly, but by mid-March, after input from constituents and all sorts of organizations and interest groups, legislators will adjust laws and budgets dealing with taxation, education, elections, air quality, transportation, health care, land use and other important issues.

Part II of tax reform, with a direct focus on education funding and the possible repeal of the constitutional income tax earmark, may emerge as the session’s biggest issue.

Changing demographics

Already, predictions are percolating that the upcoming election year could yield the highest voter turnout in history. Thousands of out-of-state transplants, native-born millennials, and increased minority populations will participate in the election. Wise strategists are advising that no political party or candidate should take anything for granted. We will know if they did a year from now.

The Democrats

Utah’s loyal opposition faces challenges and potential. Democrats could benefit from strategies that take advantage of changing Utah demographics, while also appealing to younger voters. However, they may need to confront the problem of a presidential nominee who is politically unacceptable to most Utahns.

The news media

One of Utah’s largest news sources is now a nonprofit entity, its survival dependent on contributions. Printed newspapers continue to shrink as Utahns increasingly rely on digital media for news, information and entertainment. Smart politicians and influencers will watch trends on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google and other digital locales, including local news sites, to connect with voters and constituents.

Local government

While most attention will be focused on federal and state elections, cities and counties will continue to struggle with population growth issues, especially land-use planning and zoning. This will impact transportation, housing and even education policies.

The good news

Despite all the challenges, never in history has there been a better time to be alive. What’s more, all these issues and events will provide endless fodder for the Pignanelli/Webb column. This is truly awesome. Or a true calamity if you think we’re nuts.

Resolutions that will lead to a happy new year

Pignanelli and Webb: Every year, most Utahns feel obligated to adopt a few New Year’s resolutions. Among common, and laudable, goals are losing weight, exercising more, spending less and being nice to one’s in-laws. However, these rarely succeed (we are evidence) because they require obnoxious things like hard work, sacrifice and pain.

Your columnists, tapping the wisdom of the ages (yes, combined we are sneaking up on being 130 years old!), offer resolutions for readers that require no time on the stationary bike, allow unreasonable consumption of sugary treats — and TV binge watching is just fine. All that is required is a better attitude. So here goes:

New Year’s resolution No. 1: Don’t be easily offended.

Good heavens! Millions of Americans are feeling aggrieved about the most minor or unintentional slights. In fact, many seem to purposely look for offenses and something to whine about. All the kerfuffle over the harmless Peloton advertisement is a classic example. (For anyone not aware of this silly controversy, consider yourself lucky.) Too many of us spend too much time on social media calling names, nitpicking statements and expressing outrage over trivial things. So, let it go and do something productive like go pet a dog.

Resolution No. 2: Don’t be easily offended by those easily offended.

All this oversensitivity by the easily offended is driving others to be outraged at their outrage. This is an endless loop of anger over things that really do not matter — creating anxiety in our community, country and personal lives. The commonsense approach is just roll the eyes and drop it.

Resolution No. 3: Understand most elected officials are not evil.

In this cynical, highly partisan era, too many people are personalizing disagreements they have with the policies of politicians or parties. Almost all officials work hard for what they believe is best — usually at a sacrifice of time and money. Of course, articulating a different perspective with emotion and conviction is our constitutional right. But demonizing and attacking someone’s character is not appropriate. (Only columnists possess the moral authority to pass such judgment.)

Resolution No. 4: Appreciate the beauty of disagreement and dissent (this is especially for elected and appointed officials).

Americans, including Utahns, love to vocally disagree and become upset with government officials and policies. Yes, they say stupid things and can be insulting. But we should all appreciate that the constitutional right of dissent occurs without concern of violent government recrimination. This is a testimony that our republic is working properly. We should all treasure the slightly maladjusted person ranting in a public hearing because it demonstrates our democracy is in good order.

Resolution No. 5: Obtain news from multiple sources.

As media commentators, it pains us to admit that many publications and sources do have agendas. Therefore, relying on one news outlet befuddles your brain. In other words, neither Fox News or MSNBC should be the sole source of thought processes. Your body needs diverse nutrients to be healthy, and so does your mind. (Of course, a weekly dose of Pignanelli/Webb counts as fertile brain food.)

Resolution No. 6: Appreciate what you have and stop being ungrateful.

Humankind has never had it so good as 21st-century Americans. We have the best food, medical care, military protection, legal structure and advanced technology in the planet’s history. Plus, our remarkable Constitution, while a bit tattered, still protects our rights. But, so many people act as if they were starving, subjected by foreign invaders or harassed by a police state. Yes, it’s OK to have strong feelings about leaders, policies and issues. But we must be grateful for the amazing blessings we enjoy. Without this appreciation we become susceptible to demagogues who would threaten our freedoms.

Resolution No. 7: Seek improvement and advice from wise leaders.

Most Utahns strive to continually improve their bodies and souls — such is the culture of this great state. Learning at the feet of truly astute, experienced, thoughtful mentors, religious leaders, successful people and from insightful and classical literature is the key to continued progress.

Resolution No. 8: Find joy in little things.

Fame, glory and secular achievement are incredibly fleeting. Anyone who allows their worth to be determined by external factors or comparisons to others will never be truly happy. Someone smarter, thinner, richer, younger and better looking will always be around. True joy will be found in the beauty of a sunset, the touch of a baby’s hand, a rose, the laugh of a loved one, a good book, a conversation with a good friend or a religious precept that touches one’s soul.

Resolution No. 9: Follow the path to achieve these resolutions.

We humbly suggest that a sincere commitment to read Pignanelli/Webb every week will motivate positive action. When you see those funny faces (yes, the photo is about a hundred years old), you’ll be reminded to do as we say (not as we do).

And have a happy, happy new year.

What will politicians find in their Christmas stockings?

Pignanelli & Webb: 2019 has been a wild and crazy political year. And 2020 promises to further escalate the drama and intrigue. We decided to look into what goodies politicians are asking Santa to place in their Christmas stockings to help them survive the big election year. No comment on whether we obtained a FISA warrant to conduct this spying.

Congressman Ben McAdams: Santa, please deliver to Mitt Romney the courage and wisdom to vote against acquittal in the Senate trial next year. I really need the political cover.

Sen. Mitt Romney: I’m hoping at least a three-month supply of Twinkies will fit in my stocking. That should give me a big enough sugar fix to get through the Senate trial.

Sen. Mike Lee: I really want a Judiciary Committee hearing on the Horowitz report so I can grill former FBI Director James Comey. He belongs on the naughty list.

President Donald Trump: Santa, if the Senate overwhelmingly acquits me and Democrats apologize for their horrible conduct, then I know you are real. Otherwise, you are FAKE NEWS!

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi: Now that the left-wing members of my caucus got their impeachment, please keep them quiet this election year on the Green New Deal, Medicare for All and the other leftist fantasies.

Former Rep. Fred Cox and his anti-tax reform petitioners: We just need a major miracle — 115,689 signatures by Jan. 21. Santa, you visit that many homes in 10 minutes on Christmas Eve. Just get their signatures.

U.S. Senate minority leadership: Witnesses, we need more witnesses. It won’t help to convict the president, but we can drag this thing out forever.

National Democratic Party leaders: Santa, we demand that you immediately provide all elves a $15 per hour minimum wage, diversity training, safe places, automatic citizenship, universal health care and mandatory “wokeness.”

National Republican Party leaders: Santa, as an older northern European white male, you get us. Please teach us how to deal with political correctness.

Libertarian Party leaders: Santa, we are philosophically opposed to your monopoly and demand that you open gift delivery to private competition like FedEx, Uber and DoorDash. Further, your “naughty and nice” list is an invasion of privacy and must immediately cease.

Gov. Gary Herbert: I don’t ask for much. A quiet last year of office and a legacy as “best governor ever.”

Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox: More polls please. Love that lead beating Huntsman and chances to humble-brag on Twitter.

Jon Huntsman Jr: Nothing big for me. Perhaps a little reminder to Utahns that experience, global relationships and ability to make tough decisions are more important than “niceness.” Plus, I’ll reeliminate the food tax.

Gubernatorial candidates Aimee Winder Newton and Jeff Burningham: Santa, how about delivering our brochures in everyone stockings just to remind them we exist.

Salt Lake City Mayor-elect Erin Mendenhall: Santa, please help me do the impossible — stay friendly with the Legislature and business community while keeping my liberal voters happy.

National news media: Nothing for us this year. Three years ago, you brought us nonstop Trump, the gift that keeps on giving — more viewership and advertising and the opportunity to demonstrate our greatest quality: self-righteousness.

Utah Senate President Stuart Adams: I just need a little more public understanding of the great benefits of comprehensive tax reform.

House Speaker Brad Wilson: Please, Santa. I never want to hear the words “tax reform” ever again.

Congressman John Curtis: Please help me pass legislation that requires me to do product testing at the various motorcycle manufacturing plants around the country.

Congressman Rob Bishop: Santa, please remember my medicinal needs — a truckload of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Congressman Chris Stewart: My 15 minutes of fame on cable news shows has been fun. How about more televised congressional hearing next year? I’m all practiced up on expressing moral outrage at Democrats.

Utah Republican Party Chair Derek Brown: Please deliver me one little gift — a candidate who can defeat Ben McAdams.

Utah Democratic Party leaders: Pardon our confusion. If we ask for something from Santa then we are indentured to an old white male. Wishing merriment during this season’s various celebrations may give offense or pleasure, triggering unknown emotions and committing cultural appropriation, and we therefore refrain. Thus, we wish lovely times on that Dec. 25 date if it’s something you desire, otherwise, not. Just to be safe, we apologize.

Deseret News: Merry Christmas to our readers and thank you for supporting our least favorite charity — Pignanelli & Webb.

Pignanelli & Webb: We’re not sure if we’re on Santa’s nice or naughty list because he doesn’t talk to us for fear that a mention in this column will destroy his reputation.At any rate, since we gratuitously pander to all, we wish all of our readers a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Wonderful Kwanzaa, Spectacular Festivus!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

“And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol